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Michele Bachmann said she is ending her campaign for President. Not sure who is more upset, her hundreds of hard-core supporters, or the nation’s comedy writers.

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Although Michele Bachman dropped out of the GOP presidential race, she also said “”There are many more chapters to be written.” You know what that means…. yet another failed-candidate book deal.

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owa caucuses are not a punch a ballot kind of thing. You have to go in, listen to speeches, talk to people, etc. It can take hours. Yet 58 people in the Iowa caucuses voted for Herman Cain. Did they think they were getting a free pizza or somethng?

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The San Diego Chargers are sticking with coach Norv Turner. This is great news, for the rest of the AFC West.

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In Sonoma County, California, two CHP air officers just arrested a pilot of a single-engine plane for allegedly flying while intoxicated. In the man’s defense, he said he was training to be a commercial pilot for Delta Airlines.

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Why computer programmers should take basic geography. Checking on the Starwood website for a hotel for a client in Princeville, Kauai. The first result? The Sheraton Waikiki, 21.87 miles away. At least the site didn’t give drive time.

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Despite the results in Iowa, Rick Perry is moving ahead to South Carolina. Should we be shocked? We all know how good the Texas Governor is at math.

Michele Bachmann said her husband Marcus spent the last day of the campaign in Iowa “buying doggie sunglasses for our dog Boomer.” Can’t imagine how those gay rumors got started.

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Rick Santorum is now calling Mitt Romney a “bland, boring career politician.” Not true, Mitt hasn’t been in office since 2006. He’s more of a “bland, boring career candidate.”

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Barack Obama today sidestepped the Senate confirmation process by using a recess appointment to make Richard Cordray the first director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. And the GOP is angry. Very angry. Gosh, does that mean Republicans in Congress might start not working with the President?

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ESPN cameras caught Stanford kicker Jordan Williamson praying on the sidelines before missing a potential game-winning kick in the Fiesta Bowl. Feel sorry for the kid but maybe he’s been too caught up in his studies and bowl preparation to have noticed – lately prayer hasn’t been working out too well on the field for Tim Tebow

From T.C. Stanford’s place kicker would be a star punter. All his kicks seem to be locked on “left coffin corner”

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Meanwhile, Michigan’s Brendan Gibbons, who was 1 for 5 last year, won the Sugar Bowl for the Wolverines with a 37-yard field goal in overtime. He claimed he made the kick by thinking about “brunette girls.”

“Brunette girls,” huh. Does that mean Stanford’s kicker was thinking about blond girls?

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In the Orange Bowl, West Virginia beat Clemson 70-33. Well, that’s one way not to stress out your place kicker – don’t even ask him to attempt a field goal. (But give Tyler Bitancurt credit, he was 10 for 10 on extra points.)

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About 120,000 voters voted period. Which is less than the population of Sunnyvale, California. (To out of state or out of country readers that’s a suburb several miles from San Jose, about 131,000 people.)

Maybe we should just move the Iowa caucuses to some small towns in California. Same number of random votes, better weather.

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Rick Santorum lost by only eight votes in Iowa. After losing his 2006 re-election to the Senate by a record margin, and saying this week he believes states have the right to ban birth control and sodomy (which, google it, includes what Bill did with Monica.) Guess this answers one question -how much do many Republicans hate Mitt Romney?

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The mud is flying fast and furious in Iowa as we approach the caucuses tonight. This probably does mean good news, however, for one candidate – President Obama.

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The Las Vegas Hilton has changed its name to “The Las Vegas Hotel & Casino,” dropping the Hilton name. Wonder how many times over the past decade the Hilton family has hoped Paris would do the same thing.

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Another potential winner in tonight’s Iowa caucuses? Hillary Clinton. Seriously. Because if she figures Obama will be re-elected but hasn’t ruled out 2016, Clinton has to be looking at this field and figure she can beat all of them with half her brain tied behind her pantsuit.

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Want to cut down on your soda consumption? How about this story, where a man is claiming to have found a mouse inside of a Mountain Dew can. Pepsi’s expert testified if a mouse HAD gotten into a can that it would have been dissolved in the soda’s acid, and transformed into a “jelly like substance.”

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Stanford coach David Shaw quoted Tuesday in the SF Chronicle: “We can’t settle for field goals against a good football team.” Uh, well then why play for one at the end?

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Happiest people in America right now, after Stanford’s snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, and following Oregon and Boise State’s earlier costly last second losses this season -any parents of a good high school kicker looking for a scholarship.

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Apparently Stanford’s kicker was “Tebowing” it in prayer on the sidelines before his end of regulation missed kick. Guess he hasn’t seen Tim’s results the past few weeks.

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From T.C. Observation on Totitos Fiesta Bowl: One player is definitely Toast(titos)in next NFL Draft – the Stanford Field Goal kicker. Somewhere a Stanford music teacher is saying, “we should have signed that kid up to play in the band!”

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As T.C. said, however, at least he didn’t miss wide right.

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Just imagining a tie NFL game with Brees, Brady or Rodgers and 52 seconds to go with three time outs on the opponents 25 yard line…. Can’t imagine a coach playing for the field goal.

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To be fair, Williamson had been good earlier in the year. If he had had a game like this in the regular season they might not have been in a BCS bowl. (See Boise State.)

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Andrew Luck almost did it all tonight. Too bad he couldn’t kick.

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Think it’s time to declare a moratorium on Tiger Woods’ appearance as a Stanford honorary co-captain. The time before tonight’s loss was November 2009, when the heavily-favored Cardinal was upset by Cal in the Big Game. And then there was that little Thanksgiving incident in the same month.

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Weird grumpy Fiesta Bowl trivial fact – Oklahoma State never led in regulation.

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We’re coming to the end of Capitol One Bowl Week, which started about December 17. And they wonder why football players are bad at math.

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All this hype about Iowa. And the total number of people who will vote in the caucuses will be fewer than a capacity crowd at Cowboys Stadium.

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Rick Santorum thinks he is the most electable conservative. Considering he lost his last Senate bid by 18 % (largest margin ever for a GOP senator from Pennsylvania), it sounds like his math is as good as Rick Perry’s.

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Online Bloomingdale’s ad for the “Last Day of Our After Christmas Sale.” Fully expect tomorrow to see the ad somewhere “Only 358 shopping days until next Christmas.”

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A confident Mitt Romney on the eve of the Iowa Caucuses – “We’re going to win this thing with all of our passion and strength.” This might be the first time “Romney” and “passion” have appeared in the same sentence.

Because for years they haven’t had to waste money on playoff tickets.

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And yes, for the third time in four years, the Dallas Cowboys will not be in the playoffs. No punchline, I just like writing this.

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Newt Gingrich is now blaming his fall in the Iowa polls on being “Romney-boated.” After blaming his failure to get enough signatures to be on the Virginia ballot on a staffer’s fraud. If this GOP nomination thing doesn’t work out, Gingrich has a great chance of being hired to lobby for the California Whine Industry.

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Contrary to popular belief God did not desert Tebow today. He just watched the Raiders play defense and decided to save His energy for a day Tim actually needed His help.

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Rick Santorum, who is criticizing Romney in his TV ads for being too liberal, endorsed Mitt in the 2008 GOP presidential primaries as the “clear conservative candidate.” Who knew – Romney’s flip-flopping is turning out to be contagious.

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How can Aaron Rodgers hope to win the MVP when he may not even be the best QB on his own team?

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Newt Gingrich said Mitt Romney would buy the presidency if he could. And Mitt allegedly tried to bet him $10,000 that wasn’t true.

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Okay, you know your team doesn’t have much of a football reputation when…. Overhead at San Francisco Airport, which is full of people in red – one pilot telling another “So much red, must be a lot of Wisconsin Rose Bowl fans.” Not exactly. Go Stanford Cardinal!

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Locals in the Phoenix area seem very supportive of Stanford. But makes sense Cardinal/Cardinals, whatever…. they’re just pleased to see a team in red actually playing in the postseason.

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Lebron James is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Savannah Brinson, after proposing last night. Well, at least one of them now has a ring.

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In Coventry, England, a display model of Apple’s Siri apparently told a child to “Shut the f*ck up” Many frequent travelers heard this story and hoped that’s what happens when you put the phone in airplane mode.

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And okay Cubs fans, it’s officially time to whip out your 2012 edition “Wait Until Next Year” t-shirts.

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Texas A & M, which had lost its last five bowl games, won the Meinke Car Care Bowl 33-22 over Northwestern, which has now lost its last nine bowl games. They should have called it the “Something’s Got to Give” bowl.

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The outdoor game known as the NHL Winter Classic, coming up on January 2, has become one of the most eagerly awaited events in the hockey world. Maybe some day the league will be brave enough to play at Candlestick Park in July, and call it the NHL Summer Classic.

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Starting tomorrow, a new California law means children under 4’9″ must be in car booster seats. While many children will find this embarrassing, parents of boys looking for a new seat at least have the option of purchasing the Doug Flutie model.

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And as my friend Alex Kaseberg says, “The good news? Snooki has to ride in a booster seat.”

A Canadian DJ, Marcel Williams, has announced he has fulfilled his “no-sex for a year” 2010 New Year’s resolution. “No sex for a year?” Trekkies the world over responded “amateur!”

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There’s something about a logo…. (Not making this up.) In Japan, Wendy’s is opening fast food restaurants that feature a $16 foie gras and truffle topped burger. Because nothing says luxury like Wendy’s Hamburgers?

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Aided by a number of personal negative ads he can disavow as coming from an “Independent” PAC, Mitt Romney is now leading in Iowa. Looks like that added to having the natural charm of John Kerry, Mitt’s trying to adopt the honor code of Richard Nixon.

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Kelly Clarkson’s album sales surged after she Tweeted her endorsement of Ron Paul for President. Several other young singers thought of following her lead, but first they have to figure out who Ron Paul is.

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Mitt Romney’s son Matt said that his father would release his tax returns as soon as President Obama releases his birth certificate and other records. Guess the kids are as “in touch” as their dad.

Virginia Tech’s place kicker was already suspended for his part in a home invasion. Now his backup has been sent home for missing a 1:00 a.m. curfew. Who do these kids think they are? Cincinnati Bengals?

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From the very funny Jim Barach: “Jon Huntsman calls Ron Paul “unelectable”. Which is like Paris Hilton saying that Kim Kardashian can’t act.”

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Newt Gingrich now says he would have made it on the Virginia ballot, but “We hired somebody who turned in false signatures. We turned in 11,100 – we needed 10,000 – 1,500 of them were by one guy who frankly committed fraud.”

Okay, fair enough, but if true this is a man who wants the responsibility of hiring a whole Cabinet and White House staff?

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Newt Gingrich just said in a tele-town hall that he would consider choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate. Even John McCain is saying “Uh, is this guy getting senile?”

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So last night did Baylor football coach Art Briles tell his team “Well boys, if we hold them under 60 points we have a chance to win this thing?”

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ESPN’s Skycam camera fell to the field during tonights’s Insight Bowl between Iowa and Oklahoma. Funny, you’d think if one of the things would have crashed it would have been from all that back and forth down the field in the Alamo Bowl.

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Russell Brand and Katy Perry are divorcing, only 14 months after they married. I’ve got an idea. All those DOMA people trying to defend the institution. Maybe they should lay off the gays and try to ban celebrity marriages.

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Verizon decided to charge customers 2 dollars to pay their bills on line. Even Netflix is thinking “how dumb can you be?”

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This just in, Verizon has rescinded their new planned $2 fee to pay online due to “customer feedback.” And as to the executives who came up with the idea? The U.S. unemployment rate has probably increased by at least one.

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Or maybe we finally found out who hired the guy whose bright idea was New Coke.

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Another thought on Verizon’s little proposed $2 fee fiasco, I guess we know the answer when it was customers asking the question -”Can you hear me now?”

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Along perhaps, with the Mavericks chances of repeating as NBA champions?

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Nascar driver Kasey Kahne tweeted about being offended by seeing a breastfeeding mother. Therefore solidifying his place for most woman as an all-time big boob.

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This just in – Valero is taking back their sponsorship of the Alamo Bowl, saying they were under the impression they were sponsoring a college game, not arena football.

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At time of posting Baylor and Washington may have combined for more points than UCLA and Stanford – in men’s college basketball.

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And a quick note to any reader who might have wondered if I was giving up this week. Not exactly. But have had very little access to internet, and almost no real news. (Yes, I realize this last puts me in the ranks of regular Fox News viewers.)

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Meanwhile, Romney tried to score points by comparing Newt Gingrich to Lucille Ball.

Well, that ought to take care of all the people who say Mitt is out of touch.

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And as my father pointed out, those who really remember Lucy might vote for her.

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From Bill Littlejohn, “The SF Giants and Tim Lincecum are said to be far apart on a contract extension. As in about 100 points in team batting average.”

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This just in – Tim Tebow tested positive for holy water.

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And Generalissmo Francisco Franco and Kim Jong Il are still dead.

EVERYTHING is President Obama’s fault.

(except for the good stuff, that’s due to W. and his dad. Ok, got it.)

So who do we blame for the BCS?

Tonight’s offering? Louisville vs. N.C. State in the Belk Bowl. Bringing up the question, what’s a bigger number of people? Those who care about Louisville or N.C. State, or those who know what “Belk” is?

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New Lakers coach Mike Brown says Los Angeles will make the playoffs. Okay, nice effort Mike, but welcome to the NBA, where any team who shows ANY signs of life make the playoffs.

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Bad holiday sales lead Sears and Kmart to say they will close stores in 2012. Is this a mark of a weak economy, or a strenthening economy where Americans have better taste?

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Sinead OConnor is ending her marriage after 18 days. And the singer is shouting out congrats to Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries for sticking it out so long.

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And open note to any readers who care, for better or worse, the regular posts are back Friday – Happy New Year’s Eve, Eve, Eve Eve.

Secret memo from Jesus to Tim Tebow: “Hey, I love you man, but got to go with the guy who really is a Saint.”

And seriously, congratulations to Drew Brees on 5087 yards and breaking Marino’s record. And for being a nice guy too.

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Memo from Jesus to Tim Tebow. Sorry dude, got caught up in pre-birthday celebrations.

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Sarah Palin complained that the Obama’s Christmas card just featured their dog Bo. In a bi-partisan spirit some Americans claimed that getting his daughters their dog was the only campaign promise President Obama kept.

A few Christmas gift ideas.

For Rick Perry – a calculator, or if that’s too complicated – an abacus.

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For all those Defense of Marriage types – some celebrity marriages worth defending.

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For Columbus, Ohio, police, extra handcuffs. Since the Buckeyes new coach, Urban Meyer, had 31 players arrested in his six years at Florida. (And many other incidents that didn’t result in arrests.

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Another bipartisan thought –

A trip to see the wizard.

So Romney can get a heart,

Perry and Bachmann can each get a brain.

And President Obama can get some courage.

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Thought to anyone celebrating Christmas somewhere warm:

Speedos, they’re a privilege not a right.

(or “Bikinis, they’re a privilege not a right.)

Well, I was cute. Now when can I expect some dinner.

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President Obama has made it to Hawaii. Wonder if he remembered to get his Christmas wish into Santa first – more GOP debates.

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A late shopping surge appears to be making this Christmas season a particularly good one for retailers. And that’s even without Kobe Bryant needing anymore to buy Vanessa jewelry.

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Oops again, now it’s Newt Gingrich who failed to collect enough signatures (10,000) to appear on the Virginia primary ballot. And for the record, the Gingrich’s live in McLean (VA.)

Newt Gingrich was actually leading Mitt Romney in the Virginia polls before it was announced that he didn’t have the required signatures to get on the ballot. The Gingrich campaign said Virginia has a “failed system.” A “failed system?” Uh, you think you can fix perhaps the most complicated economy in the world, and you can’t count to 10,000?

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Michele Bachmann was confronted by the gay robot “RoboProfessor” (yes, really, the robot exists) in Iowa Thursday. Bachmann took it in pretty good humor. But then, Michele’s already learned how to deal with straight robots. How many debates has she done that include Mitt Romney?

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Down in Venezuela, former SF Giants and current Texas Rangers catcher Yorvit Torrealba struck a home plate umpire in the face during a game. Giants fans are shocked, they, alas, can’t remember Torrealba ever hitting anyone.

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An Ohio man bought a unopened fruitcake from 1941 in an online auction for $525. The fruitcake may have had sentimental value, however, as it may have been the exact one he gave his aunt then for Christmas.

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In college men’s basketball, #15 Pittsburgh lost to Wagner (who?) 59-54. Normally the Pitt Panthers don’t get embarrassed like this until the second or third round of the NCAA tournament.

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Pat Robertson claimed that SNL’s Tim Tebow skit – IMHO maybe the funniest thing they’ve done this year – was “anti-Christian bigotry” and “disgusting.” Except that Tebow, who seems to have a sense of humor, hasn’t complained. And who can say God doesn’t have a sense of humor – for example, armadillos.

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On the second or third night of Hannukkah, and two days after the Winter Solstice, and on Christmas Eve, this all-purpose wish – “Happy Whatever it is You Celebrate!”

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Monta Ellis is denying comment on sexual harassment charges, and the Warriors are claiming that he and the woman he texted pictures of his junk to were in a “consentual relationship.” But the lesson here guys – love and lust may fade but cellphone records are forever.

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Matt Barkley has endeared himself forever to Trojan fans by returning for his senior year. Especially since after the Reggie Bush fiasco, staying at USC vs. the NFL actually means a pay cut.

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The release of Nike’s new retro Air Jordan basketball shoes caused near riots at many stores today. Many men responded to this with “Wow, Nike is bringing them back?” And women responded, “Riots? WTF, the things don’t even have heels.”

Said my comedy writer friend Alex Kaseberg: “First time in history the words shoe sale men and riot have ever been combined.”

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Michele Bachmann was confronted by the gay robot “RoboProfessor” (yes, really, the robot exists) in Iowa Thursday. Bachmann took it in pretty good humor. But then, she’s already learned how to deal with straight robots. How many debates has she done including Mitt Romney?

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Mitt Romney promised a college student on Thursday that a vote for him meant a job after graduation. But Mitt didn’t say whether it might be at Subway or McDonald’s.

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Donald Trump just switched his party affiliation from Republican to unaffiliated. This could end up meaning a possible 3rd party run. But for starters it means that none of the GOP candidates have done a good enough job of kissing his… “ring.”

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For NBA fans, the meaningless preseason games are over. And on Christmas morning the meaningless regular season games start.

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Hell has frozen over moment? USA Today projects the winner of the NBA’s Western Conference Pacific Division as the Clippers.

(From Tammy Serna again, “One could argue Christmas started without one.”)

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Matt Barkley called a news conference today to announce whether or not he is staying in school or entering the draft? A news conference? Really? Of course this being USC I suppose we should be glad they aren’t doing a one-hour special.

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And it turns out Barkley is returning for his senior season. Good news for Trojan fans. With Lane Kiffin as coach, this could be the school’s one and only year off probation.

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Another Barkley, Charles quoted on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno” about the GOP debates. “As a democrat who loves the president I am positively giddy.

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TMZ reports that NBC correspondent Jay Gray, who was reporting on the abuse scandal, was arrested last week on DUI charges after attending a party at Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer’s house. Is there something in the water in State College that turns grown up men associated with sports into idiotic a**holes?

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Looks like President Obama won this round of chicken over the payroll tax with John Boehner. Pleasing many Democrats who were just hoping for Christmas that the President would get his cajones back.

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Stephen Colbert says he will pay $500,000 to help fund South Carolina’s first-in-the-South GOP presidential primary. Heck for that amount of money, his name recognition and the “Anyone but Romney” mentality, Colbert could WIN the S.C GOP primary.

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Yale coach Tom Willams has resigned after it was learned that he falsified his resume about being a Rhodes scholarship final and playing on the practice squad with the SF 49ers. On a brighter note, Williams was offered a job at UCF with George O’Leary.

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Mitt Romney, answering Newt Gingrich’s complaints about negative advertising. “But you know, this is politics, and if you can’t stand the heat in this little kitchen, wait until the Obama’s Hell’s Kitchen turns up the heat.” Actually, not a bad idea, since Congress isn’t working together, wonder if the President can put in a call to Gordon Ramsey?

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Jerry Greene at ESPN.com’s latest top ten list. Top ten signs your sport marriage is in trouble. Honored to have one in there plus the closing line. http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/story/_/id/7379083/readers-provide-top-10-tips-high-profile-marriage-trouble

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Yale football coach Tom Williams resigned after the school investigated whether he lied on his resume about being a Rhodes Scholarship finalist at Stanford. The coach now admits he never applied for the scholarship. A matter of honor, or a matter that in Willams’ tenure, the Bulldogs were 16-14, but 0-3 against Harvard?

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TCU, who just missed a BCS bid, plays Wednesday against Louisiana Tech in the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, at “Snapdragon by Qualcomm Stadium”. (Really.) The full title may take longer to say than the most people cared about the game.

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Ah technology. Golden State Warriors guard Monta Ellis is the latest to be accused of sending a woman unwanted sexts including a photo of his genitalia. Reminds me of something my friend Alex Kaseberg said, paraphrased it’s “Doesn’t matter if you’re an athlete, a politician or a rock star, NO WOMAN wants to see a picture of your junk.”

It is enough to make many famous men long for the old pre-cellphone days, when at least cheating could be done with plausible deniability.

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White Castle is doing a one-restaurant experiment in Lafayette, Indiana of serving beer and wine with their burgers. The chain may have the sequence backwards, it’s usually only AFTER drinking that White Castle sounds good.

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“Restore Our Future” is an independent PAC supporting Mitt Romney by running negative ads against Newt Gingrich. “Restore Our Future?” Many in Massachusetts wish they could just restore the old Mitt Romney.

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Sarah (remember me?) Palin is criticizing the White House Christmas card.. Instead of highlighting “family, faith and freedom, it just shows the Obama’s dog, Bo, in a room decorated for Christmas, with the message “From our family to yours, may your holidays shine with the light of the season.” Maybe Obama chose to feature Bo because he has the family’s highest approval ratings?

An Iowa voter reportedly referred to Newt Gingrich as a “f-cking a–hole.” No word on whether it was one of his ex-wives.

Aaron Rodgers won the AP 2011 Male Athlete of the Year. Presumably vote taken before last week’s Chiefs game. Packers fans are hoping it’s not a SI Cover type jinx.

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Must be hard than we thought to make ends meet as a retired NFL Superstar. Here’s what Joe Montana is up to Jan 12. (thru Living Social) “Joe Montana Fan Experience, 1.5 hours, Two Drinks, Two Raffle Tickets, and Food ($119); with Signed Photo of Joe Montana ($199); or with Signed Photo and 30-Minute VIP Meet and Greet and Photo with Joe Montana ($399)

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Washington, D.C., Christmas verse – Twas almost the night before the payroll tax break expired, and all through the House, not a creature was stirring, not even a Louse.

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From Marc Ragovin: Gary Johnson switichng from the GOP to the Libertarian primary will have as much impact as the Astros switching from the NL to the AL

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Actor Tom Cruise told People magazine today that “Every day I fall more in love,” with wife Katie Holmes. Who says platonic marriages don’t work?

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Former American Idol runner-up David Archuleta has announced he is taking a break from his singing career to go on a two-year Mormon mission. This news surprised many music fans, who didn’t realize Archuleta still had a singing career.

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Just how stupid do they think Americans are getting? Got a nice gift of two bottles of wine in a box this Christmas. The description tag says “No refrigeration required.”

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As part of the Ohio State sanctions, former coach Jim Tressel, was hit with a five-year “show-cause” order (meaning a school will need to “show cause” why they hire him and face sanctions if they do.) You know what that means, look for Tressel to follow Pete Carroll to the NFL.

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The NCAA sanctions for Ohio State apparently include a bowl ban for 2012. Actually a more appropriate punishmanent might have been – allow the team to play but ban them from receiving ANY memorabilia.

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Congratulations to the Stanford women’s basketball team, who knocked off Tennessee tonight 97-80. But kudos also to Tennessee coach Pat Summitt, 59, who is still coaching after a diagnosis of early onset dementia, and is putting a brave and public face on a very nasty disease.

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The U.S. House decided to leave for their holiday break, without even voting on the payroll tax cut extension. Hmm, with most Americans if we don’t do our jobs before vacation, we don’t get paid, or we get fired when we come back.

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John Boehner apparently asked President Obama to order the Senate to appoint negotiators to work out a compromise with the House on a payroll tax-cut extension. Is this a budget battle or a NFL/NBA type lockout?

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Bipartisan rant: Not that it will ever happen, but while we’re in the season of wish lists, could we outlaw this stupid procedure of putting stuff in Congressional bills that have nothing to do with the bill itself? (Not talking about ways to pay for the bill, but stuff like pipelines, various pork, etc. And yes, both parties have been guilty of this.)

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These clowns are making the NBA players and owners look mature.

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A twisted thought from T.C. regarding Big Ben’s sore foot – “Rex Ryan volunteered to take a look at it.”

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Gary Johnson announced he is dropping out of the GOP Presidential primary, and will run instead for the Libertarian nomination. The number one response of most Americans – “Who the heck is Gary Johnson?”

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In fact, a second power outage of the night stopped the already delayed game for about 20 minutes at Candlestick. The only people smiling are those behind the efforts to move the team to a new stadium in Santa Clara.

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Said my friend Tammy Serna from the game – ” Now we know how Raider fans feel (blacked out).”

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Nice win for the 49ers tonight. But to be honest, Big Ben didn’t look to be in good enough shape even to score on a co-ed.

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All kinds of potential songs to set the video of the 49ers-Steelers game to -”Lights”, “Back in Black,” “You don’t see me….”

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They have smart guys at Stanford. Great answer from former Cardinal and current 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh when asked what it was like in the San Francisco locker room when the lights went out. “It was dark.”

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House Republicans are heading towards a pre-Christmas showdown about the payroll tax with President Obama. But in a chicken game about getting home for the holidays, Obama may well win — he doesn’t need to get a reservation on a commercial plane.

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A Marist poll of over 1,000 Americans found the most annoying word of 2011 is “Whatever.” Said most Americans under 30 – “Whatever.”
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The South Korea military is on full alert after the death of Kim John Il. Maybe, considering how well North Korea does everything else, they are a little worried about any potential funeral fireworks show.

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A Northern California man who has fathered 14 children as a free sperm donor has been told to cease and desist. The FDA has he could face a $100,000 fine or prison time because he’s giving away his sperm without the proper blood tests. Uh, someone better rein in this government agency before it decimates the NBA.

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Another example of why procrastination can be a good thing. Think of all those people who sent in their 2012 Death Lotto’s with Kim Jong Il high on the list.

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From Paul Seaburn: Somewhere in hell, Osama bin Laden looked up, saw Kim Jong Il arrive and said, “Are you my virgin?”

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Up in Canada, the Quebec government is upset because the Montreal Canadiens hired an interim coach who can’t speak French. Big deal, down in the U.S. we’ve elected a President who can’t speak English.

(and a Governor of California)

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A Marist poll of over 1,000 Americans found the most annoying word of 2011 is “Whatever.” Said most Americans under 30 – “Whatever.”

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Newt Gingrich’s stay at the top of the Republican polls may be over. I don’t agree with Michelle Bachmann on much, but her “flavor of the month” line about the GOP primary appears to be right on. (Except when someone is only the flavor of the week.)

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Surging in the polls, Jon Huntsman is up to TWO percent in the last CNN GOP primary poll. This puts him only seven percent behind “undecided.”

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Penn State Quarterback Matt McGloin is taking full responsibility for his locker room fight with Curtis Drake. Amazing. Someone at Penn State is taking responsibility for something?

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Meanwhile, as Jerry Sandusky keeps talking about “horsing around,” the equine community has filed a grievance -they want their word back.

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The Jets-Giants rivalry game is six days away, and Rex Ryan has already started on the “we’re better” talk. And if this matchup doesn’t decide anything presumably players from both teams can have a “Words With Friends” game during the Super Bowl.

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Not a great year for evil dictators. Shame the North Korean press release just said it was due to “overwork” and not “overwork fighting against the evil United States.” Though it might be a bit much even so for President Obama to take credit for this one.

The New York Times said tonight about Kim Jong Il – “He fostered perhaps the last personality cult in the Communist world.” “Who am I, chopped liver?” responded Fidel Castro.

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Added Mark Brickman, “He was outlasted by his playful mother, Ma Jong.”

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Okay, okay, we get it, Tim Tebow is not a good NFL quarterback. Although today neither were Aaron Rodgers and Eli Manning.

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Apparently God looked at that Patriots-Broncos matchup, and said “Over my pay grade, I’m just going to help Tim Tebow by helping Matthew Stafford and the Lions.”

My friend Daniel Silveira commented, “God had a prior commitment in North Korea. After taking care of Kim Jong , Jesus pointed to the sky and said, -”thank you Tebow.

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The Indianapolis Colts won their first game today, and after the game announced that Peyton Manning won’t play in 2011. Makes sense, the Colts are just one win away from having to flip a coin with the Vikings or Rams to get Andrew Luck.
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Thinking some of those 1972 Miami Dolphins are getting too old to be able to pop their own champagne corks.

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Mitt Romney is trying to show his softer side. So he went on Fox News Sunday to and talked about his wife and his personal history. Wonder if this week he’ll try to fill stockings for all those underprivileged corporations at Christmas?

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The Redskins beat the Giants 24-10, and it wasn’t that close. Even Nancy Pelosi looked surprised. Oh, right, she always looks surprised…but this time she really was.

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How bad a day did the Giants and Eli Manning have against the Redskins today? New York fans started to count down the days until Mets spring training.

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Bob Dole endorsed Mitt Romney, thereby surprising many Americans. “Bob Dole is still alive?”

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Nice win by Carolina over Houston today, but Jeremy Shockey claimed he was motivated because the Texans “weren’t showing respect to America during the National Anthem.,There were about 10 players who didn’t put their arms across their chest. This is America.” Uh, okay, but I grew up learning you put your hand on your chest for the Pledge of Allegiance. You sing (and take hats off) for the Anthem.

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Wonder what happened between the Bryants? Did the lockout dent Kobe’s jewelry budget?

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There are rumors that the Lakers’ star’s infidelities just got to be too much. Who’d a thunk Kobe would get in trouble for too many passes.
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The Des Moines Register, a paper that endorsed John McCain in 2008, has given a reserved endorsement this year to Mitt Romney. The musical background to this endorsement, presumably, “Making the Best of a Bad Situation,” or “Love the One You’re With.”

(or as my friend Melodi says “Clowns on the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, “Stuck in the Middle with You!”)

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Mitt Romney said of Congress that “It’s hard to expect a bunch of kitty cats to all come together and march in lock step. The only way to herd cats is to have a leader.” Cats following ANY leader? Sounds like the man who drove on vacation with the family dog strapped to the roof of his car knows as much about felines as he does about canines.

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Newt Gingrich acknowledged in Iowa that his GOP rivals’ attacks have taken a toll on his campaign. Newt says he hasn’t heard vitriol like this since he divorced his last two wives.

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The Gildan New Mexico Bowl between Temple and Wyoming Saturday was the first of 35 bowls this year. If you watch all of them, heck, if you can NAME all of them, you might need a life”
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The Rose Bowl promotes itself as the “Grandaddy of all Bowls.” If true, does that make the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl and Advocare 100 Independence Bowl two of the “Weird Cousins of all Bowls?

Anyone know who won Saturday’s bowl games? Me neither.

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From T.C. One of these things is not like the other…..

The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, The Beef O’Brady Bowl, Little Caesars Pizza Bowl, Chick Fil-A Bowl, The Outback Bowl, Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, The Fight Hunger Bowl.

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Apparently the Playboy issue featuring Lindsay Lohan isn’t selling very well. Makes sense, most Americans, men included, think they’ve seen too much of Lindsay already.

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Some say it will be difficult to convict Penn State officials of anything, since perjury is so hard to prove. Well, if the government can spend millions to convict an athlete for misleading statements about how he played a game, they can sure get these b*stards.

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Penn State Police have reported they were called to investigate a locker room fight between quarterback Matt McGloin and receiver Curtis Drake. Shocking! Penn State Police know where the locker room is?

(Or “Fun, Fun, Fun until my kids and the DMV take my T-bird away.”)

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Upon reflection on Vanessa Bryant’s filing for divorce,, two questions emerge. 1. Did Kobe get room service anywhere lately? 2. Did Vanessa just find out about Callista Gingrich’s $500,000 line of credit at Tiffany’s?

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Kobe and Vanessa are apparently sharing custody of their children. Wonder who gets custody of the jewelry.

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Barry Bonds has been sentenced to 30 days house arrest, and 2 years probation. Well, makes sense, if they throw everyone who hasn’t been truthful about PEDs behind bars we’d need to build a lot more prisons.

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Hamleys, London’s most famous toy store, has this Christmas eliminated its pink “girls” and blue “boys” floors, and has said they will no longer group toys by gender. Why do I think that if they were in the U.S. at least one GOP presidential candidate would accuse them of violating the Constitution.

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Just wondering, did former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney bet anyone $10,000 on the Patriots-Broncos game?

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Ron Paul said on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno that, while he is 76, his “ideas are young.” Well, not as young as Mitt Romney’s, since he’s only had his current ideas for a four or five years max.

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And Ron Paul, while he has some odd ideas, is certainly different from most of the other GOP candidates. For starters, his sentences have nouns, subjects, verbs….

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The Canadian Transportation Agency has said that Canadian Airlines (Air Canada and WestJet) must either ban cats on flights with allergic passengers, or else provide cat-free buffer zones and effective ventilation. Could they do the same for folks who wear too much perfume, don’t bathe, or spend the flight talking loudly nonstop?

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Mitt Romney, who once worked for a health-care consulting company, told an audience today that until he got into government, he didn’t understand the difference between Medicaid and Medicare. Is Mitt trying now to appeal to Rick Perry voters?

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Top four ESPN.com headlines Friday were about the Penn State trial, Bonds’ sentencing, the Bears cutting Hurd after his drug dealing arrest, and the NFL upholding Harrison’s suspension. I’ll tell you, even as a pro-choice woman who isn’t very religious, listening to Tebow’s thanking his “Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” is sounding pretty good by comparison.

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Britney Spears, 30, is now engaged to be married for the third time. Wonder if that means when she gets tired of singing, Spears is planning a career in national GOP politics.

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Newt Gingrich STILL maintains that the $1.6 million he got from Freddie Mac was simply for giving advice as a historian. We could only wish. If that were the going rate, history professors on college campuses would be richer than football coaches.

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It must be the holiday season. The House passed an emergency $1 trillion budget bill by a bipartisan 296-121 vote. These days I wouldn’t have thought you could get a 296-121 vote to pass a resolution saying “Merry Christmas.”

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Let’s hope Mike McQueary finally told the truth today about that shower incident back in 2002. But one question I’d like to ask Mike – “You saw that, you told people, and yet Sandusky remained around campus and you know nothing happened. Didn’t you ever feel that maybe you should have gone to the police?

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